Ecclesiastes 4   GAMES PEOPLE PLAY: SOLITAIRE

Part of a series on games we play and how they show us something of how we are living. This one focuses on loneliness in our lives.  This is written for a congregation of rural and small town folks living near a city in the Midwest of North America

Scripture is Ecclesiastes 4

In the year 2000, when the census takers went around our fair county, they found that there are about 40,000 households in this county. Of that number. 26% are occupied by just one person. That’s about 11,000 people who live by themselves in our county. And I think we may safely assume that in many other households in the county where there are more than one person living, that there are also many houses where people may share a roof over their heads but who don’t really have much to do with others in the house. And so there are even more people who, when they go home, go to a place where, in effect, they are alone. And when we look at people who have some problems with their interpersonal relationships, we discover that there are others who are on the outside very friendly, but who on the inside realize they are ultimately friendless.

    We live in a society where it is all too easy to be lonely. To live in a state of solitaire. We have no one to interact with. We are just by ourselves. And even though we try hard to not let it show, the sadness which can come over us at the times when we feel lonely is profound indeed. It is a sense that there is no one around to whom we can go for support.

    Do you know what I am talking about? Have you ever felt this? Or do you ever find yourself playing solitaire since you don’t know of anything better to do? Or find yourself living in a house full of people, with no one who is interested in you? And so, you find yourself heading into a shell where even if you don’t play solitaire, you are alone in front of a TV set, or in a book, or heading to video games on your computer. Or any other hobby for lonely people?

  In my years as a pastor I have observed that many people are lonely, even in the church. And for these people the only way to fill the time is to sit in front of a computer screen and move images of cards or characters in a game for and hour or two or even more.

    The question is, does it have to be this way? Do we really need to have people who are suffering loneliness? For women the question is more significant since even right here in this county of the number of households with just one person  in there where that person is over 65, five out of six are women. What is the place of the church when it comes to these issues? Or maybe a better question that comes before that is, does God care about this state of affairs?

  The Scriptures give us a vision into what God wants for people who find themselves dealing solitaire again and gain. For the Bible tells us that one of the things which God is bringing people into relationship with each other. But even though that is true, there are still times when life gets hard. And the going gets tough. And no matter how hard we pull on our bootstraps, the tough cannot get going.

  And sometimes it’s not your fault. It is just the way life is. In our scripture reading for this morning, Solomon given us the impression that as far as he is concerned, life stinks sometimes. And actually, much of the time.

  As I read the Bible, God tells us that there are four basic reasons why life can get so hard. 

1. Things happen to us. For example, we are going about our business, and someone runs a stop sign and smashes our car and we are injured. Life suddenly got hard. And it wasn’t our fault.

2. Things happen because of us. This is one of those things where we might be at fault for something. Life is going to get tough for you if you decide that you need something so badly you are willing to steal for it. The minute you steal something and are seen doing it, your life gets difficult and it is your fault.

3. Then are things which happen, we might say, alongside us. When I was in high school, there were a few guys with whom I was great friends, but since graduated 50 years ago, I’ve seen them only a couple of times at the most. And there is a sense of loss that comes with that. And life can be hard when those things happen.

And 4. There are things that happen in us. For many people my age, the reminder thatwe are aging means that we may never fulfill a dream. And that may make life hard, and to whom can we tell that?

   To whom can we bare our souls, if we have no one to whom we can turn? As Solomon put it in our Scripture reading. Verses 1-3

Again I looked and saw all the oppression that was taking place under the sun:

I saw the tears of the oppressed –

And they have no comforter;

Power was on the side of their oppressors-

And they have no comforter.

And I declared that the dead, who had already died,

Are happier than the living,

Who are still alive.

 But better than both

Is he who has not yet been,

 Who has not seen the evil that is done under the sun.

      Life is really tough if you feel alone. Did you catch the line in verse one that was repeated twice? And they have no comforter. They have no comforter. In verse 7 he goes on to say that he has seen something that is meaningless – there was a man all alone who was working his heart out, for what? For material gain? There was no one to share it with, and that is meaningless.

    One of the main reasons that Jesus came to earth was to prove to us that God does not want us to be alone ever. The last promise of Jesus to the disciples was that he would never leave them alone. The gift of the Spirit is what makes possible the comfort of knowing God is with us. We are not alone. We are not by ourselves. We are once again brought into a community.

   Yet, there are so many who are lonely. There are so many for whom life is so hard to deal with since they cannot bear to face another day alone.

   That is where the church of Jesus Christ comes in. for it is the church that knows, at least in our heads, if not in our hearts, that God was in Jesus reconciling the world to himself. And now he gives us the opportunity to bring reconciliation to our world.

   When the tough times come, when things happen to us, around us, in us, or because of us, when those difficult times of life come along, we have the opportunity to be the ones who show how much we care.  Why? Because, we have heard the message of the word of God which says, two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work.  If one falls, his friend can lift him up. Pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up.

            The games we play with our lives are dangerous to our spiritual health when we foolishly tell ourselves, I can handle this on my own. I don’t need anybody to help me out here.  Solomon calls us pitiful. I know how often I tell myself I don’t need anyone, that I can just go it alone. But that is a foolish thing to do. For when I fall down and I have no one to pick me up, God calls me pitiful. For he has been seeking to make provision for me to have others to help me up and I have arrogantly refused to have that help in my life. And how many of us don’t live that way? Especially guys in our culture today, we don’t need anybody. We are an army of one.

       There will come a time in all of our lives when we face a crisis and then to be an army of one is to discover how much of a lie that is. For it simply can never be true. There is no such thing as an army of one. For when we fall into a crisis, the independence melts away. And we need a friend. As one guy put it, I have gone out bowling with a group of guys for 8 years, but when my dad died suddenly, I realized I had no one I cared to call and tell them how bad I felt.  They would simply have told me oh I’m sorry and left me hanging.  I suddenly knew I needed a true friend. I discovered the truth of Ecclesiastes 4 verse 10. Pity the man who has no friend. For that was me.

    As people who have come here into the presence of God this morning, I appeal to you, never let a person who is in crisis feel like they are all alone.  We all need some other people in our lives. And we must never let our own playing solitaire come in the way of being the friend who can help another person up. When we went astray, when we were out on the hills, far away from God, God sent his son Jesus to find us again.  He came seeking the lost. And he came to show us that we would never be left alone in our crisis of sin.

   Now as celebrate the Lords Supper today, we have the opportunity to make a commitment to help others in the midst of their crisis since we have the love of God to offer people in their aloneness. And even if a person looks like they should not feel alone in their crisis, often that is exactly where they are. So, we can do some things which will help them deal with the crisis at hand.  We can be the friends who help them up.

    Pray with and for them. Demonstrate that you believe that God is real and is present in our lives to walk the valley of the shadow of death with jus.

  Provide for practical needs the person has. Sometimes to get a card in the mail is just the thing we need to know we are not by ourselves in the midst of a crisis. Or to get a bouquet of flowers, or a phone call or some other tangible thing which lets a person know we care. It makes a huge difference in people’s lives and when  you do it in the Name of Jesus, you are showing that you know God has given us this ministry.

   Promise to continue to help. Not just that call is need something.  No, you call and tell them what you will be doing for them – taking them out to dinner, even if it’s only fast food. A friend sees needs and doesn’t wait to be asked to meet them.

   Start the person thinking long term. When we are in crisis, we cannot see past the next hour or two. But others can help us to think about tomorrow as well. If we will help them start to make plans, their lives will take on a new look of freshness again.

   Help the person find solutions to their problems. That doesn’t mean we rush in to fix it. Instead, we come alongside and work with them to find the solutions to their problems.

   All of these are ways to bring reconciliation to a person’s broken world. The goal to to provide a sense of strength in the person once again in the name of the Lord. As verse 12 puts it,

Though one may be overpowered,

Two can defend themselves.

A cord of three stands is not quickly broken.

The lord is the third strand in the cord that is braided together in friendship.

   I’ve had many times in my life where a person took enough interest in me to help me through a crisis time. And each of these times will be remembered as examples to me of how God used someone to be my friend. May that be your experience as well.

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The right word at the right time Proverbs 25 vs 11

The context for this message was a suburban church where one of the church staff members asked me to use this verse as a text since it is one of her favorite verses in the Bible.

I memorized the whole thing when I was in 7th grade. In the school I attended that was the right of passage for 7th grade. You had to demonstrate your mastery of the assigned words by standing in front of the class and repeating each of the words in the Gettysburg address.  

Four score and seven years ago, our fathers brought forth upon this continent a new nation conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. And it goes on until we come to the final great assertion, and that this government of the people, by the people, for the people shall not perish from the earth. It is only about 270 words, which when first heard were dismissed as being a meager sort of speech from the President of the United States, but throughout history have proven to be words aptly spoken.

 I can recall that I was just eight years old when I was home from school for some reason, maybe a snow storm, on the day that john F Kennedy was inaugurated as the President of the United States, and in his inaugural speech he said these words, ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country. Those words stirred the hearts of many to step up and begin to be involved in public service in many ways all across our country.

When you and I stop to think about it, our words are such intangible things. They are the forming of sounds in the air by our vocal cords. They are the mere shaking of the air, but what power words have to shape our everyday lives. Likewise, they are the forming of sounds in the air by our vocal cords, yet what power words have to build up or to destroy.  They are the mere shaking of the air, but what power words have to shape our everyday lives. Words which are spoken at just the right time can make a deep impression on others and on us.

 Words aptly spoken become for us a fine piece of jewelry which elicits oohs and ahhs from us, maybe only subconsciously, but they are the words we’ve longed to hear. They are as pleasing to our hearts as a beautiful ring made of silver with a setting of exquisitely shaped golden apples is pleasing to the eye.

In the darkest days of World War II, Winston Churchill would often address his beleaguered followers in Great Britain with the assurance that he had nothing to offer but blood and sweat, toil and tears. They were words which energized the demoralized and gave Great Britain the resolution to withstand the attacks that were coming their way. His words became a rallying cry which changed the direction of the war for Great Britain.

Words can do things to people that will change how they see themselves. Cervantes in his great novel Don Quixote tells of the strange man Don Quixote who falls in love with a stable maid, and he tells her that she is Lady Dulcinea.  All through the book we are confronted with the madness of this man who had read too many books on chivalry. And ends up with no brain at all. But he does have a heart, and it is for lovely Lady Dulcinea and no one else. He will often send messages to the maid whose name is something else, but she is always addressed as the Lady Dulcinea. By the end of the book, our hero comes home to claim the hand of his lady and finds she has been transformed over the years by those messages of love and devotion to her, and she is now his lovely Lady Dulcinea. Words aptly spoken are like apples of gold in settings of silver.

Words transform lives.  In the Bible, we read a story of a woman who went to a foreign country with her husband and two sons.  All three men died in the course of years, and she has left a widow with her two daughters-in-law, who were women of the foreign country.  One day she decides to return to her homeland and, at the border between the two countries, tells her daughters-in-law to return home and to hope for a better life than they can ever hope to have with her.  But one of them replies in words which have lived for 3000 years as words of transforming power. Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go, I will go, where you stay I will stay, your people will be my people, and your God my God. Where you die I will die and there will I be buried.  The words of Ruth have lived for generations as words aptly spoken, and they stir even our hearts today with their love and their simplicity

One day the great-grandson of Ruth was sitting in his castle, for her family was now the royal family of Israel, and he was visited by a man who told him a little story about a few sheep. And the man became so enraged by the injustice that had been done to a poor man that he proclaimed that the man who had done such a thing deserved to die. At which point Nathan the prophet uttered some of the words which to us who listened in think of as some of the most eloquent and exquisitely spoken. He pointed at David and said, you are the man.

To us those are some of the most choice words in all of literature, but I doubt David would have agreed with our assessment at that time. Words aptly spoken have the power to change us and make us aware of situations in our lives which help us to be aware of our world and of what is going on around us.

I’m sure you’ve said words at the right time as well.

You heard I love you spoken by one of your parents just when you were feeling so alone on your way to school one day.  All day long those 3 little words just echoed in your ears, and they were the strength you needed to make it through that test, the strength you needed to withstand some temptation another student put in your path, or even, even the strength to reach out to help somebody else who’s feeling lonely that day.

You heard the voice of your spouse over the telephone line saying I’m looking forward to spending some time with you when you get home again. And your spouse didn’t realize it, but those were words that lingered in your heart for the next few days until you were home again, and those words stirred your heart that even in the midst of an important meeting you found yourself doodling her or his name on your papers. Words aptly spoken are like apples of gold in settings of silver.

So far I’ve been misquoting the text for this morning just a bit, I’ve been saying words aptly spoken, but the text really says a word.  You see, you don’t have to be a person of many words to be a person who speaks an apt word, it just needs to be one word. That word can transform another life, just one word can be enough to change everything.

I came across a story this week which illustrates that. The story goes like this. In the beginning, when God first created humanity, he was one day rejoicing and exclaiming over the wonder of these two human beings Adam and Eve. And Satan was there in heaven to taunt God, and he got tired of what God was saying about his wonderful creatures, these human beings. So Satan edged up to God himself and clamped a gag on God.  And then went about his tempting of Eve and Adam and getting them to fall from their innocence. Having done his dastardly deed, Satan left the gag on God for some thousands of years.  Then one day when Satan was there in front of God, taunting God with his corruption of the human race, God made gestures to the effect that he wanted to say something.  You want to say something asked Satan. To which God held up one finger. Satan said, you assure me you will say just one word? And God nodded. OK said Satan, I can’t think of anything you could do with just one word, so I’ll give you your one word and took the gag off God. And God said, Jesus. Just one word, but a word aptly spoken which for the world is far better than apples of gold in a setting silver

For that word shows us how powerful a word can be.  That word which lived on this earth for 33 years and then died and then rose again and now lives forever at God’s right hand, that word lets us in on the great secrets of God. Secrets which tell us of how God has been about saving his people from the very beginning. How God has been seeking us out to speak his transforming word to us. And to change our perception of the world and of ourselves. By means of his life giving word, that word, Jesus is so powerful it can take all those who for their whole lives have been hiding from God and bring them back into relationship with God.

That word can take you and me and transform our lives from lives going nowhere to lives on the road to heaven. Jesus is the word aptly spoken. He is the Word which was like apples of gold in settings of silver. He is the word which turn us from sinners into Saints. He is the word you and I need to hear.  Likewise, he is the word we need to listen to. For as the words of Don Quixote turned to stable maid into a lovely lady dulcinea, so the word of God who became flesh will transform us from the sinners we are and make us new.

 Today, do not fail to hear the word of God aptly spoken. That word will make you a brand-new person.